There is more than one way to look at a hot topic
Some people actively or furtively seek out the combination of massage and eroticism. Others detest just the thought of any sensual massage elements and see it as something awful. Is there a right and a wrong here?
Let’s take a deeper look at this issue and analyze it without prejudice.
Why this topic can be aggravating for professional Thai Massage therapists
This tends to be a sensitive topic for professional therapists. Sometimes they have had to battle a misguided public opinion that massage is just a disguise for sexual services.
And sometimes female therapists had to fend off callers who were clearly looking for non-professional services. Some of them might even have had inappropriate requests from men during their sessions.
Therefore the tendency is that professional massage therapists define massage as a strictly professional and clinical event. They regard any other aspects of massage as undesirable and unprofessional.
Before judging – allow another perspective
There are other ways of looking at this subject without ‘throwing the baby out with the bathwater’, as the saying goes.
I am aware that when some professional massage therapists read this title, they might feel uncomfortable that those two words – ‘professional’ and ‘sensual’ – are mentioned in the same sentence.
I know – it’s a hot topic. It gets tempers flaring, and opinions shooting about like arrows.
But for the moment, I am asking you to step out of the clearly defined professional massage environment and look at this subject from a broader perspective.
Who is this article for
My hope is that some people will appreciate if someone is not afraid to talk about it, or dares to address a controversial subject, and is willing to look at this subject in a different way.
If you are part of the latter group, I hope I can provide some food for thought.
For the purposes of this article let’s look at massage not only from the point of view of professional massage therapy but from other points of view as well.
Let’s allow ourselves for the moment to be open to all possibilities, even if that means being ‘politically incorrect’. So here is the question:
‘Is massage with sensuality all bad, unprofessional, unethical, or could it also be beautiful, uplifting, and inspiring?’ I will let you decide.
Massage and eroticism are not a black-and-white issue
We are not necessarily dealing with only two possible extremes here:
- On one end professional massage therapists with a strict code of ethics
- And on the other end the ‘therapists’ in the red light district with long painted fingernails, breasts bursting out of skimpy dresses, and makeup more resembling a tropical bird than a human face.
There is an area in between. It can be a gray area, or it might not be gray at all. You will see.
Just to make it clear where I am coming from
I have been a professional Thai Massage therapist for over two decades, and I am the founder of Thai Healing Massage Academy where we teach professional Thai Massage therapy through our online training courses. So I am definitely in the camp of professional therapists.
You can easily verify this by reading the testimonials on our website or the comments in our forum or Facebook group.
I don’t teach sensual or sexual massage nor do I practice it. However, I recognize that there is a place for it and that it can serve a good and beneficial purpose.
I have traveled all over the world and have seen massage in many countries and environments (read the story further down). That’s why I know that there is not just one way of looking at this.
I am writing this to give you some food for thought and to expand your way of thinking. Massage and sensuality are not a black-and-white issue; it is not a matter of right and wrong as you will see.
Let’s look at four different scenarios
Scenario # 1 – western professional massage
That’s the clearly defined professional massage therapy, or at least it is clearly defined in the Western world. It is often not so clearly defined in other countries, like in Asia, for example.
There the line between professional and unprofessional massage is not a clearly marked straight line, but the dividing line can sometimes be more of a gray zone, as you will see in the next scenario.
Scenario # 2 – What exactly was this massage?
This one is definitely in a gray zone. This event took place when I was traveling to Hanoi, Vietnam. I wanted to experience a Vietnamese massage.
So I went to a tourism office and explained that I wanted a clean professional massage with nothing sexy about it.
In some Asian countries, you have to make that clear since massage can have different meanings there.
I did make it very clear, and they gave me the address of a spa. When I arrived there, I was greeted by a receptionist, and the place looked clean and professional.
All the therapists wore white uniforms and all treatment rooms had a private sauna which you could use before the session. Upon first impression, it looked good to me.
My therapist definitely knew what she was doing and she gave me a good professional massage.
An unexpected turn of events
I was properly draped and everything seemed to be fine… until at the very end she put her hand on my genital and asked me if I wanted a massage there. I declined, and that was it.
So now the question is: Did this one suggestion invalidate the entire massage which was otherwise good, clean, and professional?
Clearly this is not acceptable behavior as far as my standards are concerned, but aside from this, I got a good massage.
What we had there was a professional spa with optional ‘services’ that definitely fall into the ‘unprofessional’ category by our Western standards. But apparently the Vietnamese standards are different from ours.
So… considering that I was in Vietnam, the question is if that was just plain bad… or just different? Is this a black-or-white issue, or can there be a gray zone?
Can we measure everyone by our own standards? You decide! I don’t have a definitive answer.
Scenario # 3 – The beauty of conscious conception
This one is not in a gray zone at all. Imagine this: You and your wife decide to have a baby. You want to make the event beautiful, meaningful, loving, and full of good energy.
So you decide that you want to create a suitable atmosphere by decorating the room nicely.
You do that by lighting candles, burning incense, and giving each other a wonderful sensual massage before your attempt to conceive a child.
You want to make the time of conception a beautiful memory for both of you. Here we have a situation where sex and massage are perfectly compatible by the highest moral standards.
Scenario # 4 – Rescuing relationships
Imagine that you and your partner or spouse have allowed your relationship to deteriorate into stale boring territory. and it looks like it might not last much longer.
Your intimate life, if there is any, is totally uninspiring and there is not much attraction or desire. Your children are suffering in this situation as well.
Both of you start thinking about other options/partners for your life. But you have been together for a long time, and you have a lot in common.
You also can remember that at one time you were very attracted to each other. What happened?
So you do some research about how to rekindle the flame of attraction between you.
You decide that both of you will learn some massage techniques so that you can give each other wonderful sensual massages and breathe new life into your uninspiring intimate routine.
You both find out that this feels amazingly good and that it works! It helps to give your relationship a new lease on life.
Now, instead of heading for separation, you discovered a new way of interacting with each other by using massage as a tool. It saved your relationship.
Massage to enhance life and relationships
I think by now it is clear that ‘sensuality and massage’ is not necessarily a dirty word. It is not automatically an unethical combination.
In fact, outside of the context of professional massage therapy, it can be a perfect combination in some situations.
Sensual massage is enjoyable and can be loving and highly conscious. Granted, it doesn’t have a place in professional massage therapy, but it certainly does have a place in loving relationships.
And it doesn’t have to be a ‘dirty’ word, just because it is abused by some people.
It can be part of life in a fulfilling and positive way. It can help to make life better. The purpose of this article is to defuse this ‘hot topic’ and provide some food for thought.
I leave it up to you to make up your own mind, and I would love to hear your opinions in the comment section.
If you would like to learn professional Thai Massage, check out Thai Healing Massage Academy’s convenient and effective online training course:
The author, Shama Kern, has been practicing and teaching Thai Massage for over two decades. He is the founder of Thai Healing Massage Academy and the creator of 20 Thai Massage online training courses.
Thank you Shama for stepping out a little bit on this topic. It is a bit touchy sometimes. I agree that in the context of a healthy (or even unhealthy) relationship sex and massage can be very fulfilling.
I have to admit that I was one of those MTs that cringed at the mere thought of sex and massage because I think of how many times I have been solicited. I have heard so many jokes as well. When I first became a therapist, I would get upset and angry when someone would call asking for such a thing. Now I feel I have become more comfortable in my own skin and realized that it is not personal. If that is what they seek, they are the ones who have to look at consequences if there are any. Now I simply state that this is not something I offer and I tell them what I DO offer. It is then up to them to decide what is right for them.
Thanks again, Shama, for bringing great information to the table as usual!
Thanks for your comment Andrea. It looks like you have reached a healthy mature attitude about this topic. I think all therapists need to get there and leave insecurity and confusion behind. You hit the nail on the head when you say that you simply state what you offer without feeling offended by people who have a different idea. I think this is the best attitude you can have.
Hi Shama,
You do know how to come up with arresting titles for discussion! But seriously, nice to see you continually posting topics, it is really appreciated.
There is another very important scenario in the sex and massage debate which I would like to mention and that is the area of sexual healing in massage.
From my experience, as a male therapist, this refers to a female client whose sexual energy has been hurt or harmed, as for example as a result of an abortion, an act of sexual violation or even an act of sexual abuse.
I have been very lucky – and somehow blessed – to have had female clients coming for this sort of healing. The healing of sexual energy in massage does involve the cleansing, or stripping out of ‘bad’ energy from either Sen Sumana, Sen Nanthakrawat, Sushumna, Ida/Pingala, Conception Vessel, Kidney Meridian or the Root Chakra (depending on how you look at it) and, at some stage, might involve working very close to the organs of reproduction.
Any massage therapist working in this area of healing has to be completely 100% neutral in their sexual energy and has to be completely honest in their intention when it comes to this form of healing. Neutrality and clear intention need to be clearly transmitted to the client, so she won’t feel confused or threatened.
In my experience of healing sexual energy in female clients, I have never had the need to touch the organs of reproduction. You can heal an area of the body without actually touching it. This is a very important message to impart.
I am only mentioning all this simply because it is an area of great importance in healing massage work. It needs to be shown that the healing of sexual energy can be done and it needs to be shown that the healing of sexual energy can be achieved in massage without the need to touch any of the sexual organs.
With love and best wishes.
Thanks for writing the article, but I have to say I thought I was going to be reading something about customers who are aggressing against MT’s in the work place. In that light, your article was not satisfying. First, a couple of people in the privacy of their home engaging in a bit of foreplay massage, has nothing to do with a professional practice. The point was a bit moot because the public would have no problem separating that from what takes place in our treatment rooms. Again, it is my concern that the issue of “sex and massage” in the work place is a very important issue. This regards the safety of MT’s and eliminating public misconceptions about professional massage services. Which brings me to Robert’s post. Do you include this “healing of sexual energy” in your promotional materials? Do you consult and contract with your customers about providing “sexual healing”? I have retired from a career of Social Work and find the idea of sexual victims volunteering for this service to be extremely unique.
To Shama, thanks for writing your article. It was an interesting perspective, but did not satisfy my concerns about “sex and massage” in the professional setting. To Robert, I cannot agree with what you do for many reasons, not the least being your claim to be able to “heal” a sexual dysfunction by “stripping away negative energy”. It is my professional opinion that so-called “energy work” is a sham and belongs in the realm of faith-healing and voo-doo.
Thanks for your response Claude. I understand your concern. I wrote this article with a different idea in mind. In my mind massage is not just something that belongs in a professional office, but it has a place in the non-professional world as well.
I wanted to highlight the various ways how massage can be used, and I wanted to diffuse the dichotomy that exists between professional massage therapists who protect their clean image by distancing themselves from anything sensual and sexual, and regular people who might use massage in a sensual and sexual context.
I wanted to point out that massage and sensuality or massage and sexuality is not a dirty word. And I wanted to help professional therapists feel more at ease with the natural sensuality (not sexuality) of massage which is one of the main reasons why people like to receive professional massage.
Actually my perspective in this article is quite different from what you pointed out in your reply. You are emphasizing the ‘clean professionals’ versus the public who ‘engage in a bit of foreplay’, and you state the two have nothing to do with each other.
While I understand where you are coming from, I want to emphasize that there is a connection between the two. They are both using massage. While the setting and the intention might be different, they can both be good and beautiful.
Rather than emphasizing the difference, I am trying to create a bridge in understanding, a synthesis. I am pointing out that non professionals can learn massage as well and use it in a beneficial way in a relationship setting. And therapists do not have to be so apprehensive of the fact that massage exists in a different, non professional setting.
Regarding aggression by clients in the treatment room against therapists, I have to say that this has never been a problem or an issue for me in my 12 year long career as a massage therapist. I understand that this will be more of an issue for female therapists. But being male, this is not an area of expertise for me which is why I don’t write about it. But I welcome feedback or comments from female therapists.
One comment about energy work. There are several very established and professional therapies that are based on the concept of subtle energy flow in the body. These include Thai Massage, Shiatsu, and Cranio Sacral therapy. All of them have a proven history of being very effective.
Regarding faith healing, let us remember that there have been many scientific studies that have proven that placebos are almost as effective as the real pills. Placebos work because of the faith that people have in them. So rather than being voodoo, faith healing is actually a scientifically established fact.
Sure, there is voodoo and faith healing that is very questionable, but I don’t think that justifies throwing out the entire concept.
I appreciate the points you made and I understand where you are coming from. I am just trying to point out some different perspectives and different ways of looking at this subject matter.
Thanks again for taking the time to write your comment. I welcome your opinions even if they differ from mine. Such exchanges help us all to open our minds, learn from each other and acknowledge the different ways of looking at something. We can all learn something from each other.
Hi Robert,
great to hear from you again with another well thought out comment. I think you encapsulate the issue in your paragraph:
“Any massage therapist working in this area of healing has to be completely 100% neutral in their sexual energy and has to be completely honest in their intention when it comes to this form of healing. Neutrality and clear intention need to be clearly transmitted to the client, so she won’t feel confused or threatened.”
I would carry this even further and say that this attitude of the therapist is not only imperative when working on sexual or reproductive issues, but this is the ideal attitude in general that makes the therapist effective and the client feel totally safe and supported.
Thanks for your great comment! I really appreciate your contributions to my blog.
Hello,
I want to thank you for this article. I am a massage therapy student at this point. I am 40 years old and this will be my third career. I was a nurse for years, then I worked in business for about 6 years and now I am unemployed starting over. I have found there is so much healing in “touch” and I seem to heal weather I am giving or receiving the massage.
While I am in the practicum room giving massage I can often see others as they give massage, and we practice on each other.
Sometimes I relate massage to making love. I see some people give such a gentle, rythmic, nurturing massage that it is almost like a dance or making love. Then I see others who give massage and the entire massage table is shaking and I think… ohhh that is rough and there is no love there. I would not feel safe and supported if I were receiving a massage like that. It is during a massage like this that I feel safe and supported.Their is a certain intimacy in getting a massage, and though it may have nothing to do with “sex” it definitely has to do with expressing sexuality.
I was feeling a bit weird for having these thoughts. This post helped relieve those thoughts.
Teresa
Hi Teresa,
Thanks for your comment. I totally understand what you are saying and I resonate with it. Actually I appreciate your courage to express it. Some professional therapists would cringe reading your post, but I also know many who have opened their hearts and minds, left their fears behind, and work from a real heart space.
Personally I would always prefer a therapist who embraces the natural sensuality (not sexuality) of massage and works from a heart space over a therapist who is just muscling me using a strictly clinical approach. I just wrote another article that highlights this idea:
https://thaihealingmassage.com/can-a-sensual-massage-be-professional/
I think you will like the story line in it.
Thanks again for your comment. I hope to hear more from you.
Shama
Shama, read that one as well. Love that you bring courage to what you do because I work in one of those States that are heavily license, where practitioners cringe at the thought of this topic. Jai to you! i could not image my massage being absent of the sensuality of my being within it and I embrace being on the receiving end of it as well. I think there is a place for even erotic and sensual massage practitioners and could be really healthy to so many who are repressed, it in itself is an art by a caring practitioner.
Thanks Barry, I agree, there is a place for different kinds of massage, even if they are totally different from our own way of doing it. And to me the sensuality of massage was never a dirty word but a beautiful feeling that I would not want to miss when I am giving or receiving massage, just like you said.
I said an expression of sexuality, but maybe the word I could have used is sensuality.
I think that it can be good to bring the subject of Tantra Massage into this discussion. I do Thai Massage as a hobby and studied in Chiang Mai.
I have also received a professional Tantra Massage and I know a couple of practicing therapists. I can assure you that neither of these women offer sex, but do include the genitals in their massage. Its easy to place this into the category of a dirty massage, and we can often feel uncomfortable about moving into this grey area.
The experience of these massages can be quite profound as they do not necessarily include orgasm. I have found a deep bliss and relaxation in a sessions which can become a very spiritual experience. There is a lot of difference between a Tantric Massage and a normal massage with a “Happy Ending”. I have since done some training in Tantra Massage with a partner and I would really recommend it as a way of enhancing a monogamous relationship. I also know swingers who love including it in their parties.
Unfortunately for many guys when they think of massage its all in the same category as sex and many female therapists have a hard time with guys who want a bit extra. If you go to India women who go for an Ayuvedic massage get a hard time with male therapists who want to give a little extra.
As Westerners we like to keep our boundaries and concepts firm , but in Asia the whole scene everything is more negotiable. There is a lot of dirty massage over there, and there is not a lot spiritual about it.
Sex is a huge area of life in all the worlds society which is so frequently corrupt, dysfunctional and violent. So in massage therapy we can adopt the position that we just don’t want to go there. I personally think that sensual Tantric massage therapists can help individuals become more functional in their attitude to sex. Its like opening up a Pandoras box, but as long as compassionate caring people keep away the box will remain a jungle.
Graham I agree with you that this is not an issue that can be neatly separated into black and white scenarios. Certainly in Asia the boundaries are much more fluid, as you said. One example which I can add to the discussion is that that here in Thailand there is a famous healing resort, called Tao Garden, which is run by Mantak Chia.
They have been offering both sessions and courses on ‘genital massage’ for many years. But it is nothing sexy at all. It is really only therapeutic and does not involve any sensual stimulation at all. Actually it can be quite painful to receive. Many people swear by it and claim that they had reaped significant health benefits.
And then there is tantric massage which definitely has a place in the wide spectrum of massage. It is easy to get judgmental about those unusual applications, but right and wrong are really not hard facts, but are more often than not constructs of our minds.
In the western massage scene we like to neatly categorize everything into legit and non legit, right and wrong, good and bad. In Asia this simply does not work, as you mentioned. You have black and white here with countless grey shades in between, and it is often not possible to draw a line and establish a clear demarkation between professional and non professional massage application.
Is Tao Garden’s genital massage or tantric massage legit or not? This just depends on whom you ask and what that person’s cultural filter is. This can be very confusing for western therapists since it does not fit into their world view. It cannot be neatly defined.
I think this discussion thread is a great way to widen our perspectives. Thanks for your contribution Graham.
Shama,
That too is a great article. Believe me I cringed for having the thought for the longest time. I needed a place to express the feelings. Please understand, it is a feeling from a heart space and not sexually related. But the massage actually becomes an art or a dance. There is a certain healing that I can not explain. I am new and learning each day. Thank you for listening.
Teresa
Teresa, I know exactly where you are coming from. I see my massage as an art, a dance, like a piece of music where everything is designed to match up beautifully. So we speak the same language.
I write my articles in part so that people can express their feelings even if they are somewhat outside of the mainstream massage establishment. I am not afraid of controversial subject matters. I know that many therapists have opinions about them, but do not easily find a place to express them in a non judgmental and supportive environment. So I hope I can provide this service through my blog.
Hi Teresa
I think I can understand what you are saying. I have a lot of single clients, divorced or widowed and for them I often feel there is an especial loving, caring feeling to my massage. Not sexual at all but a giving of touch to someone who does not have this in their lives. We all benefit from the touch of others but it does not always have to have a sexuality to it. It is more like a dance. Not sure if I’ve expressed this well but some of you may know what I mean.
I think in the context of a committed relationship or personal life its no one’s business. But when money is exchanged under the guise of massage then it puts everyone in the business at risk. We need to keep these clear boundaries in order to educate the public of the difference.
I know in my area a MT was sexually assaulted recently after giving a massage to a man.
This happened in a very well known chain not someones home or small office. When these lines are blurred we are all put at more of a risk.
I am sure the lines were not blurred at all as far as the policies of this spa are concerned. However we are dealing with human nature, and some of them will blur lines in their mind no matter what rules you set. Luckily massage therapy is a very safe profession, and the vast majority of people respect our boundaries, at least in the western world.
I have an experience to add to this thread. I went to a local convent a couple of years ago to receive a Healing Touch treatment from one of the nuns. To make myself totally clear, she did not touch me at any time during the session. I was fully clothed and on the table,under a comfortable blanket. I noticed immediately that her energy was fully neutral. I’ve never experienced a more neutral energy field. As the session started, I fell into a very very deep state of relaxation. After a while, I felt a warm glow in the area of my heart. The feeling was that of deep relaxation, pure love AND sensuality. The feeling of glow gradually expanded to include every part of my body–including, to my great surprise, my abdomen and the area around and including my genitals s It wasn’t like having an orgasm. It was an experience at once profound, alive and exciting. At first, I felt embarrassed (although there would be no way for anyone looking at me to know what I was experiencing), and I had the thought, “Is this an okay way for me to feel? She’s a nun!” But, really, it had nothing to do with her. She was simply a vessel who held a very safe, neutral space in which I could experience whatever I needed to experience. I didn’t tell her about the sensations I experienced, but I left that room with a heightened sense of life and vitality. I felt that I experienced my soul directly, and that my soul includes the most intimate and sensually alive part of me. I’m not sure whether I’ve been able to express this experience adequately, but it definitely changed my perception of my own sensuality and yes, also my own sexuality.
Thanks, Laurie, for sharing this beautiful experience with us. I always love it when I hear such stories where it is obvious that sexuality or feelings in the sexual organs can be a transcendent and sacred experience and that such feelings can manifest in healing sessions of all kinds, even without any touching at all.
nice experience but in my country you will not get that type of things happening but i agree for only couples to do or have that type of things done in their home,but not at a massage place but nice for letting me know what does happen in the outside world.
Well Shama, great topic, where have all these people been for the past centuries, of course massage and sex go well together, not because I’m French, because massage before sex brings out the best in your partner, massage is not restricted to, fingers, elbows, knees, forearm, feet and hands, you can have great pleasure with your partner when practicing sensual massage using other parts of your body,of course this form of massage you do not offer to your regular clients, if you are a great therapist you know you can turn it on if you wanted to, but you are a professional and you behave like one, you must control your mind and not have your mind control you, keep your focus on the healing process and concentrate on the therapy being done, if the client starts to feel a little hot, it can happen when you have golden hands, just apply some pain and you will get them back on track, Shama I have a good story regarding this topic, but I will need to tell you outside the box, thank you Shama
Can’t wait to hear your outside the box story, Coco!
Your article has deeply touched me. There are people who totally separate the two things and others who put massage and sex together and don´t accept anything else. Learning massage has almost cost me my marriage because my husband is one of the latter. He could not bear the idea of me being touched by just some other guy or me touching anyone else. We went through many discussions where I have tried to make him see my point of view, that a good massage makes me feel wonderful in my body and my soul without being a sexual experience and that this is what I want to transmit to other people when giving a massage. If there are “misunderstandings”, well, this can happen, but as a professional therapist you should be able to control that. Finally it depends on oneself, what you are looking for, what you are offering, how clearly you express yourself and last not least – your intuition. I´m convinced that massage can be a great tool for improving sexual life in a long-standing relationship, so, overall, as to me the question is not if you can combine massage with eroticism (of course you can), but if a professional massage can be combined with eroticism.
Mainly I tried to show in my article that there are all kinds of different scenarios. It is not an issue which can be pigeon holed or nailed down to one conclusion. This applies to both massage and sex and their combination. I have seen many variation from having lived in many countries around the world. So I have decided to be non judgmental about this issue.
I can imagine that it is hard for you to communicate your point of view to your husband. Luckily I am married to a massage therapist who shares my views in this matter and there is no conflict.
It is part of the human experience that there are many different opinions and paths and options, and conflicts are bound to occur. There are massage therapists who are puritanical in their views, then there are those on the opposite end who have no morals about it at all as long as the money is right. There are even some who believe in erotic massage as a sacred ritual as in tantra. We all have to choose our own path and allow others to choose theirs even if it does not agree with what we believe.
Hi shama.
What about the scenario of where you are doing a professional massage and discover the client wants a bit more.
As a male with a female client this can be quite tricky.
These things happen rarely, but if they do, you have to deal with it tactfully or decisively, depending on the situation. This is not just an issue in massage therapy, that’s just one of those things in life that can happen under all kinds of circumstances.
Massage therapists are not the only profession where unwanted advances by the opposite sex can happen.
I received some education about massage of inguinal area and sexual organs from my mentor. She is doctor and also educated in natural treatments of body! She helps the men with sexual dysfunction. Her treatment was doctor’s treatment! It was nothing sexual about it. From experience of living with my husband, I know that touching men in the inguinal area and sexual organs help them, but I would never touch any of my clients, including women, because I care about my reputation. I could do it in Ukraine, because I was nurse there and some massage therapists specialize in treatment of men and women with sexual organs dysfunction and it is quite safe for them because the patients come to medical professionals. One of the treatments of enlarged prostate is massage of prostate, but I only could find here Web site of woman who has this massage as one of her sexual services. In Europe, Prostate Massage is used in many cases instead of surgery. The doctor or nurse inserts a finger into the rectum and massages the prostate for ten to twenty minutes. It is important not to feel embarrassed about this. These people are professionals and prostate problems can be serious if not handled quickly. Your health is more important than your embarrassment. The doctor will be able to feel the swelling go down as the prostate drains itself of its inflammation. Also the Asians have more propensity to go for Prostate Message Therapy instead of antibiotics and surgery than the Westerners. One problem I noticed during my experience working with adults as licensed massage therapist that some of men takes regular massage as sexual pleasure, but it is impossible to proof, because nothing is very obvious! I wish the couples understand how important to touch each other and massage each other where professional massage therapist will never touch!
Thanks for your input, Ekaterina. Just to add to it, here in Thailand, where I live, there is also a therapy which is called therapeutic genital massage (or Karzai Nei Tsang). However it is a strictly therapeutic system and the therapist does not actually touch the genitals but works around them. It is quite a painful experience and could not be farther from a sensual experience. Some people swear by it.
However I should mention that Karzai Nei Tsang is not part of Thai Massage or even the traditional Thai medical system. This system was created by Mantak Chia and is mostly practiced locally in the Chiang Mai area, and only by very few therapists.
I really like this post and being a life long foot masseuse, first taught by my mother. Then over the course of 10 years it was a every day job I that I had to perform after she got home from work and standing in her high heals all day.
When going to university it was my first serious girlfriend who’s mind was blown by my touch when it was time to rest her aching feet from miles or kilometres in shoes not made for walking…
Through my training with my mother there was no notations about the reflexology I was learning by rubbing her feet until she feel asleep. And then, no understanding what I was doing on the inside of my girlfriends body when I spent so much time addressing her abused heals.
I truly feel if a woman or man is already in the mind set of sexual arousal it is very easy for this arousal to flourish with a simple foot massage.
I have massage women in a professional manner with never leaving the foot and clearly see when one woman would not get “turned on” and the other would have goose bumps racing across their skin in a instant with the exact same touch.
Some women become what I would consider to be intoxicated with foot massage no matter if it was not meant to be sensual. With this being said I would consider rubbing a woman’s foot more intimate than any part of her body. There are over 7000 nerve endings in the foot and how sensual or even erotic your foot work is I feel is truly up to the woman and the time of month it is in her body’s natural rhythmic cycle.
In all my years of rubbing the feet of women I have never had a woman to ask me to stop and if she had the time for me to rub her feet for 24 hours she would let me do so for sure. What we as practitioners unlock in the minds of our clients when they fall into the state of relaxation is non of our business.
When my regular female clients tell me that they love everything I do I build on that and nothing else.
One thing I do think is important as professionals is that we must educate our women about the importance of knowing all there sexual reflexology nodes of interest so they are not persuaded by the adult entertainment industry to travel the road of nerve ending destruction with the regular use of mechanical devices.
Thank you very much Shama for this very important topic as I feel as though most North American’s don’t understand the actual phrase “share the comfort of your body” in their wedding ceremonies.
Thanks, Johnny, for your thoughtful contribution and for taking the time to lay out your experience with foot massage.
thanks for this beautiful articles……
Hello.. I wish to share my experience with you and with all the readers as well. In India though I am an Engineer I had the obsession with helping the poor and have nots with my little knowledge of Homoeopathic medicines. I met a middle aged working female labour who had been absolutely .deprived of sexual pleasure and Love from her husband being in a God fearing caste based Hindu religion. Her husband enjoyed with others ignoring her fully and as a Human being i rated her near to a God as she has been selflessly served others with all her belongings and maintaining ritually so called Chastity of a Male Chauvinist Hinduism. When I analyzed her Psychosis on Homoeo applications I found her mental state as a Door Mat syndrome surrendering everything to God or Fate. I applied my medicines and found later that she is responding to normal desires. Later on I discovered her libido rejuvenating. She expressed her physical desire. I approached it with sensual massage followed by Sex. I am bound to say that she got REBIRTH. She could not realize the effect of massage on her but she got indebted to me for taking to her to the Taste of Orgasm in her life. I felt myself blessed to help such a Good Human being