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Massage And Relationships

massage for friends and family

Massage for couples, friends and family

As a professional massage therapist I tend to write about subjects that fall into the “professional massage” category. But I am also a husband and a father and a friend.

In this article I want to take massage out of the professional context, namely the kind where you make an appointment with a therapist, go to their office, fill out the forms, and pay a fee.

How has the human touch become repressed?

One big reason why I became a massage therapist is because I always loved and enjoyed the human touch, both giving and receiving it. I am pretty sure that all humans love this touch, but unfortunately all too often it has become repressed by our cultures, religions, and social environments.

A good number of religions have severely restricted sexual contact. This then results in a cultural environment which avoids any physical contact that could be interpreted as sensual or sexual.

I am not saying that all sexual restrictions are bad. Some of them are necessary to protect us from sexual predators. However it is unfortunate if such restrictions result in a general feeling of shame and guilt regarding touch.

The votes are in: we do love touch

When we look at animals, it it obvious that they don’t have any issues with touching each other. The same goes for little children. But once their cultural conditioning kicks in, they suddenly do not want to be touched any more.

Later on many adults become outright phobic when it comes to touch. Professional massage is the one outlet where touch becomes permissible outside of socially sanctioned institutions like marriage.

Despite all that, we crave touch on some level.

  • When someone is crying, we spontaneously want to console that person by holding and hugging them.
  • When a baby is crying, every mother knows that touch, hugging, cuddling and rocking are often the best solutions.
  • When we have an attraction to another person, we naturally want to express it through touch, hugging and kissing.
  • We all love touching, stroking and holding our pets.
  • Couples love touching each other spontaneously, hold hands, lean on each other and maintain lots of physical contact.

It is obvious that we love the human touch. We all know how to touch someone lovingly, it is a natural instinct. But the quality of this touch can be greatly improved through some massage skills.

It does not take a 1000 hour massage training program to learn how to develop a great touch, but some massage training does go a long way.

Massage in relationships

It is a well known fact that relationships start out in an intense, exciting way. But as time passes, the partners often settle into a routine. The excitement and intensity becomes a faint memory of past glories.

Couples Massage can be a perfect tool to rekindle the fire in a relationship, introduce better ways to connect, bring back a sense of novelty, and dramatically increase the quality of the relationship.

Can massage for couples help to save or improve a relationship? Let’s start with my personal experience. My wife and I have a delightful routine. We love to combine watching a movie with a massage.

One of us is sitting on a chair, and the other one on a cushion on the floor in front of our partner. That’s a perfect position for working on the shoulders, neck and head. We take turns massaging each other and we both love it.

How massage can be used outside of a professional setting

My favorite way to fall asleep and wake up in the morning is when my wife rubs my head. This also happens to be my favorite childhood memory.

When I was a little boy, my mother used to sit on my bed and rub my head until I fell asleep. I never forgot this delightful feeling.

If our partner comes home with some ache or stiffness in the body, what better way to deal with it than offering him or her a good massage for relief. Can you imagine how your partner (or you) would appreciate that!

And if the intimate life in a relationship has become stale over time, couples massage can work miracles to rekindle the loving feeling that we all crave.

After all, that’s why we entered the relationship in the first place, and it is a tragedy to let it die through neglect.

Massage is also a great social tool. Your friends will really appreciate it if you can help them with their stress through a few minutes of neck, arm, or hand massage which can be done anywhere quite easily.

Acquiring massage skills as a hobby

There are so many applications for some highly useful massage-for-couples skills outside the professional setting. It is not difficult to acquire some know-how.

We all have hobbies, so why not learn massage as a hobby? It can help your relationships, your friendships, improve your self esteem and make you feel like you are contributing something to make the world a little better place.

I am a veteran massage therapist and teacher, and the author of 20 online massage training courses.

I have also created an online home study massage training course which is perfect for non-professionals who want to learn some effective and fun couples massage techniques as a hobby.

This course contains all you need to know about easy, practical, useful and delightful massage-for-couples skills which could become the most beneficial and useful hobby you ever had.

It is called “Massage For Friends And Family”.


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The author, Shama Kern, founder and director of Thai Healing Massage AcademyThe author, Shama Kern, is the founder and director of Thai Healing Massage Academy and the creator of 20 online Thai Massage video training courses. He has been practicing and teaching Thai Massage for 18 years.

2 thoughts on “Massage And Relationships”

  1. Doing massage not only implies to the body, it also provides a good relationship between the massager and the patient. It’s important to gain trust to each other.


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