The questions about inappropriate touching, off-limits areas, and proximity to sensual areas come up again and again from our students at Thai Healing Massage Academy. So we want to deal with them head-on.
Here are some of the things we hear regularly. “I cannot work high up on the legs because it is too close to the genitals.” “I cannot touch the buttocks because that is inappropriate.” “I cannot work near the breasts because my clients would feel uncomfortable.” “I cannot use this technique because my breasts would touch my client’s body.” “I cannot do that technique because it is unprofessional.”
These are all real concerns, so let us look at each of them honestly.
The problem with treating sensual areas as off-limits
Some therapists worry that it is inappropriate to touch any area that could be considered sensual. Let us look at this from a man’s perspective for a moment. When a man sees an attractive woman, he might find her breasts, her buttocks, her legs, and her belly attractive, and that is not even the end of the list.
But if you avoid every single one of those areas, that does not leave you very much to work on, does it?
This is the heart of the issue. When you start segmenting the body into permissible areas, sensual areas, and inappropriate areas, you tie your own hands. It is just a body that needs help. That is all.
Why you should never ask permission to touch certain areas
Some therapists tell us they want to ask the client’s permission before touching their buttocks, for example. We think that is a bad idea, and here is why.
When you ask a client that question, you insinuate that there is possibly something inappropriate or wrong with touching that area. You are planting a doubt in the client’s mind about something that is simply not an issue, unless you make it one.
And what could possibly be wrong with working on the buttocks? It is nowhere near the genitals. Actually it is on the opposite side of the body. People sit on it all day long. In our experience, clients love having it worked on. It feels great. So there is really no reason to make an issue out of it.
When your body touches the client
Here is another concern we hear. “I cannot do this technique because my breasts touch my client’s body.”
Obviously you would not want to do a technique where your breasts are right on top of a client’s face. That is common sense. But if you work on a man’s legs and you lean in with your forearms and your breasts touch the thigh a little bit, so what? You have a bra and a shirt on, the client has pants on, so there are at least three layers of clothing in between. On top of that, most clients have their eyes closed and are not analyzing what exactly is touching them.
This is another case where it is easy to make an issue out of something that simply is not an issue.
What Thailand teaches us about touch
Thailand is a very touch-averse culture. People practically never hug, and they do not even shake hands. And yet the female Thai Massage therapists here do not have a problem with this kind of body contact. It is not an issue for them, and they do not turn it into one.
Our founder Shama has received many Thai Massage sessions where the therapist’s breasts came in contact with his legs or his back. It is just a body part. There is nothing sexy about it in the context of a professional Thai Massage.
Remember, in Thai Massage everyone is fully dressed, unlike Swedish massage where you work on a naked body. And the reality is that Thai Massage involves a lot of physical contact between therapist and client. That is just how it is done. You cannot move someone’s body all over the place without getting in close.
It is usually the therapist, not the client
This is the part that matters most. In most cases, it is the therapist who has an issue, not the client.
Therapists assume that clients would not want to be touched somewhere. But the clients do not even think about it, unless you put it into their mind, either verbally or through your own worry and fear energy.
Of course you have to use common sense. If you are female and you have a new male client who acts a little funny, says strange things, or looks at you a little too much, then you simply avoid techniques that involve very close body contact. But in the vast majority of cases, you do not have to worry about inappropriate touching as long as you do not directly touch the genitals or the breasts.
Working with clients who have experienced trauma
We sometimes hear from students that you have to be extremely careful about where you touch clients who have experienced sexual trauma. We are not speaking in theory here. This comes from Shama’s own personal experience.
He once had a client, a woman who had been gang raped. She was clearly traumatized and had avoided people for a long time. But he did not add his own fear energy to hers. She already had enough of that. He simply worked on her without staying away from so-called sensitive areas, and she trusted him. She opened up and told him her entire story, and he listened.
This woman felt safe with him and his work because there was no fear energy in it. He was actually able to help her release a lot of her trauma through the work. But you cannot do that if you are constantly worried about which areas you can touch, which ones you cannot, and what the client might think.
It is not where you touch, it is your intention
There is nothing unprofessional in any of our courses at Thai Healing Massage Academy. It is all professional Thai Massage, done the way this style is meant to be done. We know it is quite different from Western oil massage, so you might need to adjust your mind a little.
It is not so much where you touch. It is your reason for touching, your clarity of purpose, and your clean energy.
Here is an example. If a sleazy stranger touches your private areas or grabs your hand, that is clearly inappropriate. But if a gynecologist examines those same areas, you are grateful for it and you even pay for the service. So it was never the touching that was the issue. It was the intention.
In massage therapy we do not touch genitals or breasts. But if someone has an issue in the groin area, there is nothing wrong or unprofessional about working there. If someone has tension in their chest, or issues with their lungs or thymus gland, it is completely professional to work on the chest, even right near the breasts. It is the intention that counts, and clients understand that and are okay with it.
Setting your own boundaries
Do not let your own fear energy, hangups, or speculation about what clients might find inappropriate get in the way of a flowing, intuitive, connected Thai Massage.
You do have to set your own boundaries. Nobody can set those for you. But do not set them so tight that they get in the way of your work. Your clients just want to relax, feel better, and improve their health. They are not measuring how many inches you are from a so-called sensitive area, as long as they trust you and you are not projecting fear energy onto them.
Let go of the idea that there is anything inappropriate about working on the buttocks, the belly, the sacrum, the chest, or the groin. In Thai Massage there is simply a lot of body contact. It is a big advantage, and it allows you to support your clients far better than if you try to avoid contact.
After saying all this, there are some more intimate techniques in Thai Massage that, as a woman, you might choose not to do on certain clients. There is an entire module in our Art of Thai Massage course that deals with exactly this and gives you alternatives.
A final word: just relax about it
This is our opinion, formed from countless Thai Massage sessions over many years. Sure, there may be times when you really do have to adjust how you work on someone, or avoid something altogether. We cannot tell you exactly where to set your boundaries.
But on this whole topic of so-called inappropriate areas and touching, we can suggest one thing. Just relax about it. It is much less of an issue than you might think. If your breast touches a client’s back or leg a little, so what? If you work on the buttocks, good for you. Your clients will love it. If a client has constipation, you need to work on the abdomen, not avoid it because of the organs nearby. If a client has pain in the groin, help them release it. They will appreciate it.
Use your common sense, but do not create issues where none need to exist. Give up the idea that the body is full of restricted, intimate, forbidden, taboo no-go zones, and just focus on helping people where they need it. That is what is best for your clients. It is all part of this beautiful, connected, flowing, healing art of Thai Massage. Give it a chance.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it inappropriate to work on the buttocks in Thai Massage?
No. The buttocks are nowhere near the genitals, people sit on them all day, and in our experience clients love having them worked on. There is no reason to treat this area as off-limits.
Should I ask a client for permission before touching sensitive areas?
We do not recommend it. Asking insinuates that there is something wrong with touching that area, which plants doubt in the client’s mind about something that is not an issue unless you make it one.
What if my body touches the client during a technique?
With everyone fully clothed and the client’s eyes usually closed, incidental contact such as a forearm lean where your body lightly touches a thigh is not a problem. Thai Massage naturally involves a lot of body contact.
What about clients who have experienced trauma?
The most important thing is to work with clean energy and without fear. When clients sense that you are calm, professional, and focused on helping them, they feel safe and can begin to trust you.
Are there any techniques a therapist might choose to skip?
Yes. There are some more intimate techniques that, as a woman, you might choose not to do on certain clients. Our Art of Thai Massage course has a dedicated module on this with alternatives.
